Culture Corner: The Stress of Communication

It’s a fact that good communication is key in any relationship – personal or professional, it’s also important to understand one outside factor that can have a major impact on the way we give and receive information – STRESS. That’s why it’s important to identify the issue, because if we don’t factor it in, it can ultimately lead to misunderstandings.

STRESS is inevitable. It is our body’s reaction to something, and it can cause physical, mental, or emotional strain. While it is a common part of everyone’s life, it’s also important to remember it’s not all negative. Think of the stress that comes with getting a promotion at work, starting a new project, getting married or having a new baby, that stress is called Eustress, a growth enhancing reaction to the stress of everyday life. This positive stress can do things like increase our alertness and our performance. We need positive stress in our lives.

While there’s no quick fix to all thing’s communication, there are some things each of us can do to help navigate rough waters around distress and it begins with self-awareness. Ask yourself these questions:

• How do I handle stress? Before we can communicate with others effectively in a tense situation, we need to understand how we ourselves deal with stress. Pull from past experiences, if they weren’t handled well, learn from it, create a plan to help you handle it better in the future. We can’t change the stress before us, but we can change how we handle it.
  
• How do I react? Be specific, do I react aggressively, or do I avoid confrontation? When we understand our reaction (this includes body language) to a stressful situation and conversation, then we can correct our behavior. If we are quick to anger, dig into a specific trigger, if we avoid the conversation we have to wonder why. Nothing good ever comes from avoiding a necessary conversation.
• Do I need to take a breather? Unless the building is on fire, it’s okay to pause, reflect, even walk away from the situation for a few minutes or to take the night to sleep on it.This extra time allows us to think before we speak and calm down. On the topic of breathing, taking deep breaths, and slowly releasing them, certainly helps to relieve some stress.
• Am I listening? In tough situations, listening is one of the most important things we can do.If we’re so wrapped up in our own stress of the day, we can miss important opportunities to learn about the real issue. Asking questions not only opens your ability to understand, it gives you time to take a few deep breaths.

Another important piece to this emotionally charged issue to consider is paying attention to the people around you. If you are feeling overly stressed chances are the person next to you or the one you are communicating with is also trying to hold it together – perhaps that’s why you’re butting heads. Start with simply being kind and respectful to one another and seek to better understand each other, it’s the first step toward avoiding miscommunication.